


Can't Bake Me Love

by akurtbastiantoholdonto



Category: Glee
Genre: Bakery, Friendship, M/M, Rivalry, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:06:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2323196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akurtbastiantoholdonto/pseuds/akurtbastiantoholdonto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt finally gets his chance to own a bakery he couldn't be more excited, until he finds out that another bakery is opening just down the block. The bakers start a rivalry but Elliott and Dani decide upon a plan to make Kurt and Adam forget the rivalry and fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I promised that I would only write one long fic at a time, but I actually have several that I am working on and decided to post them. I'm not abandoning any of my other fics but this gives me more options of what to work on. :D I hope you enjoy!

Kurt had always wanted to open his own bakery. Throughout college and working on Broadway, any extra money went towards it. Finally, at the pleasant age of 30, Kurt had saved enough money to fulfill his dream. He bought an old bakery with a small apartment above it and spent the next month working hard to get it ready for business. He spent a lot of the time singing, as one would when they had a musical theatre degree, and thinking about what he should call his bakery. Finally two weeks before he was ready to open he thought of the name, taking inspiration from his first tattoo, and spent the next day painting “Midler Bakery’ on the sign outside. When he was finished with the sign, he quickly put the ladder inside and ran back out to see how it looked finished. When he got out there though, there was another man standing outside, supposedly admiring Kurt’s paint job.

“Do you like it?” Kurt asked excited, looking back from the blond man to the sign.

“It is definitely different.” The blond in the beanie said. “Though, it would see we have a problem.”

“What? Did I spell it wrong?” Kurt asked, worried.

“No, it would seem that you are opening a bakery right next to mine, and that just happens to be a problem.” He said.

“Excuse me?” Kurt asked, crossing his arms. “I see no bakery here other than mine.”

“Well, you see, it hasn’t opened yet, but it does in two weeks.” The blond said.

“That’s when I open.” Kurt muttered, glaring up at him.

The man held out his hand to shake Kurt’s and Kurt tentatively took it. “Well,” The man started, looking Kurt in the eyes. “It would seem we have ourselves a little rivalry.” The blond let go of his hand and walked down the sidewalk until he was a store away and put his keys in the lock before looking back. “See you in two weeks.”

“Oh it’s on, beanie brain.”

~Two Weeks later~

Elliott walked into the Midler Bakery, intent on congratulating his friend on his new business. The bell on the door rang through the empty store. Elliott passed by the neatly set tables and stood at the small bar. He could hear Kurt in the back bustling around and couldn’t resist ringing the bell as he sat down on one of the wooden stools close to the cash register.

“Coming!” Kurt called excitedly from the kitchen. Elliott felt bad that Kurt thought he had a customer, but he couldn’t resist. Besides, he intended to buy something anyway.

Kurt strode through the velvet curtains separating the kitchen from view and smiled when he saw Elliott.

“So what can I get you?” He asked, standing across the counter from Elliott. Elliott watched as Kurt rolled to the tips of his toes before settling back down on his feet.

“I think I’ll have some of that cheesecake.” Elliott said, grinning. “Am I the first customer of your fine establishment?”

“No, actually. There was another patron a few hours ago when the store first opened. They got a peach pie and said it was delicious!” Kurt stood on his toes for a second again in his excitement.  Elliott had learned it to mean that he was really happy, and it was quite endearing.

“Good. Do you think business will go well? I noticed walking over here that there was another bakery two doors down.” Elliott pointed out.

“I know, that jerk.” Kurt huffed. He bent over to pull out the cheesecake from the rake and served Elliott a piece. “I met the owner a couple weeks ago, some British hipster guy.  Never caught his name.”

Elliott smiled at the competitive streak that was showing in Kurt. Also at the cheesecake, it was really good. “Well I think his name is Adam, or at least the sign says “Adam’s Bakery”.”

“Really now? That isn’t very creative.” Kurt huffed again.

“Calm down man, I’m sure his food sucks.” Elliott consoled.

“Can you check it out? Spy for me?” Kurt said, looking hopeful.

Elliott couldn’t refuse when Kurt did his puppy dog eyes. “Fine. I’ll go over there right after this and will report back to you.”

“No! Go now Ell!” Kurt said, pulling his plate of cake away and walking around the counter to drag Elliott to the door. “You have to go now! What if he has copied my menu? What if that first customer was a spy for him?” Kurt blabbered on.

“Alright, alright, Ku, I’ll go.” Elliott said, brushing Kurt’s hand off his arm. He walked out the door and down the block to the rival bakery.

“Elliott!” A girl’s voice shouted from behind him and Elliott turned around to see Dani speed walking down the sidewalk to him.

“What are you doing here?”  Elliott asked, wrapping her up in a hug. “I haven’t seen you in months!”

“I came to see my friend’s new bakery.” Dani said.

“I just saw Kurt! He makes amazing cheesecake.” Elliott said.

“Kurt? I do want to see him but no I’m here for Adam, his bakery opens today.” Dani said, looking at Elliott puzzled.

“I’m actually on a mission for Kurt to spy on Adam’s bakery, want to tag along then?” Elliott asked, offering her his arm.

She took it. “Sure, then we should go see Kurt’s!”

Elliott and Dani walked the few remaining feet to Adam’s Bakery, where upon walking through the door they were met with the amazing smell of homemade bread and fresh tea.

“Wow.” Elliott breathed as he took in the layout of the bakery. To his left was a long counter lined with white stools that wrapped around two walls. At the far end was a cash register that sat on the counter in front of a door that lead to the kitchen area. A large rectangle was cut out of the wall between the dining area and the kitchen, allowing for customers to watch their food being made. The walls were decorated with black and white photographs of the city and the walls were painted white on the top half and a pleasant yellow on the bottom half.

The thing that made Elliott gasp though was that the bakery was packed with people enjoying their food. In the far back they could see Adam hard at work in the kitchen, working to restock his shelves of cupcakes and pie.

Dani dragged Elliott forward past the counter and straight into the kitchen, dropping his arm to run forward and hug the baking man.

“Dani!” He said, wrapping her up in a hug while trying not to let his flour covered hands touch her clothes.  “How have you been?”

“Great! I’m so glad I got to come here on your opening day!” Dani said, kissing his cheek. “It looks so great!”

“Thank you! I think I might have some competition with that bakery a few doors down though.”

“Don’t worry Adam! I am sure your food is better.” Dani consoled.

“Ahem, Dani? The bakery he is talking about is Kurt’s. You know, our friend?” Elliott said, glaring at Adam.

“So you know him?” Adam asked Dani.

“Yeah, I was in a band with him and Elliott a few years ago, he is a good guy.” Dani said.

“So he trusts you guys right?” Adam asked.

“I think so.” Elliott said and Dani nodded. Elliott wondered where this would go.

“Can you guys go over there and check out what his food is like?” Adam asked.

“Sure thing.” Dani said. “Though I think it was pretty empty when I walked past it. It might not have opened yet.”

“It’s open.” Elliott said without thinking.

“Perfect, go back there and check it out for me okay?”

Dani hugged Adam goodbye and Elliott followed her out of the bakery. They walked back down the block to Kurt’s.

“So are we really spying for Adam now?” Elliott asked. “Because I have to stay loyal to Kurt. He fixed that scratch on my electric guitar I can’t just betray him now.”

“Fine. I’ll spy for Adam and you can report back to Kurt what Adam’s place is like.” Dani said. “That okay?”

“Sure.” Elliott said. They walked into Kurt’s bakery which had luckily gathered a small group of customers who had set upon a cherry pie in the far corner table. Elliott and Dani went to see Kurt in the kitchen where he handed back Elliott’s cheesecake and got Dani another one after hugging her.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” He said, smiling. “What are you doing here?”

“I came by to visit Adam down the street, he just opened that other bakery.” Dani said.

“Oh. Him.” Kurt said, glaring through the wall in the direction of the other bakery.

“Yes him. He isn’t a bad guy Kurt.”

“Dani don’t try to cool this down, we have been rivals for the past couple weeks. This has gone too far to forget.” Kurt said.

Elliott paused. “This is your first day of business, how could you be rivals for weeks?”

“Oh how indeed.” Kurt said, taking out his aggression on some bread dough. “Every day since our first meeting he would come in here while I was working and tell me about whatever new top-of-the-line appliance he had installed. Our rivalry has only grown since then.” Kurt emphasized his words by punching the dough once more before putting it back in the bowl to rise.

Dani smiled to herself before speaking. “Well that seems like a mighty tense rivalry. As much as I would love to hear more about it, I think your customers might want you, and me and Elliott have some business to attend too.”

As Kurt rushed out of the kitchen to take the customers’ orders Elliott turned to Dani. “We didn’t have anything planned.” He pointed out.

“We do now.” She replied. “Come with me.”

She led him back out of the bakery and onto the sidewalk, dragging him around the corner, out of sight from the bakery.

“They’re going to bang.” Dani said matter-of-factly.

“What? They hate each other!” Elliott insisted.

“So? Did you see how they talked about each other?” Dani insisted.

“They just sounded angry.” Elliott said, confused.

“Allow me to introduce you to the phrase ‘Sexual Tension’.” Dani said. “Unfortunately they won’t realize it if they keep on hating and avoiding each other.”

“What do you mean?” Elliott asked.

“I have a plan.”


	2. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elliott and Dani work out part of their plan to get Kurt and Adam to fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some chapters are going to be short, some long, I divide the chapters by the stages of Dani and Elliott's plan, so it all depends on how extensive the plan is.

“You have a plan?” Elliott asked, shocked.

“Yes.” Dani confirmed.

“Isn’t that a bit creepy?”

“Not if it will end up with them being happy.”

“How do you know it will work?”

“I’ve been listening to Adam complain about someone owning a bakery next door to him for the past week and he might have let it slip that he was very attractive.” Dani said smugly.

“But how do we know Kurt likes Adam?”

“He thinks he’s hot, trust me.”

“Never!” Elliott said, winking.

“Come with me, we still have to iron out the details.” Dani said. “Is your apartment free?”

“Yeah, I think Lydia is out, she took on an extra shift so she isn’t home much.” Elliott said, referring to his roommate.

“Alright, let’s go!” Dani said. They hopped on the subway and arrived at Elliott’s a half hour later.

Dani looked around the apartment. “Okay. We need paper, pencils, and a flat surface. I’ll clean off the coffee table, you get the supplies.”

“Yes sir!” Elliott said, gathering up what Dani had mentioned and returning to the living room to find the coffee table cleared off and all the papers piled underneath it.

Dani waved him over and began planning.

“Stage 1, we have to talk about the other around them.” Dani said, taking some paper from Elliott and writing it down.

“Why do we need to do that?” Elliott asked.

“I don’t really know, but that’s what they start with in the movies so we will start there too. Stage 2, we have to get them to interact with each other, it doesn’t matter what they do, as long as they don’t claw each other’s eyes out. The catch is that they can’t know we were behind it.” Dani said, creating a list.

“How do we do that?” Elliott asked.

“I’m not sure yet, we have to find a mutual friend of theirs who needs help with something, or maybe we can have them deliver desserts to the same person, we will figure something out.” She drew a star next to Stage 2.

“What’s stage 3?”

“That is when we get them to interact of their own will, however begrudgingly. I think the best bet would be to sabotage something in one of their shops and have them need to ask the other for help.” Dani said.

“That is horrible.” Elliott said. “I’m not helping you with that one.”

“Fine I’ll do it myself.” Dani said.  “Stage 4 is unknown, but I can assure you we will thing of something. They will fall in love even if I have to lock them in a room together.”

“Let’s save that for a last resort okay?” Elliott said.

“We’ll see.” Dani said, winking.


	3. Stage 1

**Stage 1**

Kurt was on a roll. After a disappointing opening day, the number of customers he had in a day slowly grew, and a week later he was busy most of the time. He had already set out ads in a few papers for another worker. He was just finishing ringing up an order for an elderly couple when he spotted Elliott and Dani walking in through the door. 

“Hey guys!” He greeted as they walked over.

“Hi Kurt!” Dani said, stepping forward to hug him as Elliott nodded his greeting.

“What brings you to this neighborhood?” He asked. Since his business had started he had been too busy to hang out with them and he hoped that once he hired an assistant he would have more free time.

**“** We were down at Adam’s, he wanted us to try out a new frosting recipe and we figured we would stop by to see you on our way home.” Dani lied.

Kurt glared at the wall to his left that was one that separated his bakery from his rival’s. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, is there anything I can get for you guys to help wash down the horrible taste?” He asked.

“It was actually pretty good.” Elliott said. Traitor, Kurt thought.

 “Your taste buds are severely lacking. Come on back, I can give you guys some Oreo cheesecake.” Kurt said. He walked back into the kitchen and Dani and Elliott followed. He went over to the refrigerator and pulled out the cake, slicing it up on one of his work tables.  “Here you are.” He said as he handed it to them.

“Thanks, Kurt!” Dani said, diving in as Elliott ate his slowly, savoring every taste. “You know,” Dani began as she finished her cake, “Adam’s frosting was really good. It was this subtle mint flavor that was to die for. You should try making some!”

“How dare you infer that I would ever try a recipe that he had sullied.” Kurt said. “This is a bakery for those of a finer taste. I expected better from you.” He admonished.

Dani giggled and Kurt could tell that Elliott was trying hard not to laugh with her. Oh well, he was soon going to close up so he could kick them out and work out his frustration on the dirty dishes. The nerve of that Adam character. Kurt huffed to himself and took the empty dishes back from his friends and put them in the dishwasher.

“If you are finished laughing I have some work to get back to.” He said, ushering them out of the door. He waved his goodbye and got back to his cooking, muttering to himself about what traitors his friends were.

~~~

Adam was just pulling a batch of Chocolate Chip cookies out of the oven for a customer’s sickly grandmother when Dani walked into his kitchen. He had wondered if he might regret giving her the key to the back door, but so far it wasn’t so bad having her around, as long as she stopped making jokes about it.

“Hey Dani.” He said, lightly slapping her wrist when her hand wandered towards the sheet of cookies.

“Hey Adam!” She said, hugging his free arm when he began stirring a pot on the stove.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“Do I need a reason to visit you?” Dani asked, snuggling into his arm.

“No, but usually you wait until after work to visit.” He said knowingly.

“What can I say, I was in the neighborhood and wanted to chat.”

“Why were you in the neighborhood? You don’t come over here except to visit me usually.” Adam said.

“Yeah, I know, but Kurt’s cheesecake is fantastic, and I just can’t get enough of it.” Dani admitted.

“I make you cheesecake all the time!” Adam said, feeling betrayed.

“I know you do, but there is just something in Kurt’s cheesecake that is so amazing.” Dani said.

“I will make you another cheesecake Dani, and you will see that I, in fact, am the best cheesecake maker.” Adam said, lifting his chin. “Go away so I can work on the recipe.” Adam said, turning from the stove to hug her back before ushering her out the door. “I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“Thanks Adam, you’re the best!” Dani skipped off down the alley, and Adam thought she looked unusually energetic.

~~~

Dani began jumping up and down the minute that Elliott shut his apartment door behind her.

“It worked!” She screeched excitedly. “I can’t believe it!”

“Whoa there, calm down Dani, that was just Stage One. Who knows what could go wrong in the next stages. Plus, Kurt looked pretty angry, I don’t know if that was a good idea.” Elliott cautioned.

“It was a brilliant idea! We just needed to get Kurt to think about Adam. It didn’t matter how, as long as it wasn’t for some horrid reason. After you ran home I went and talked to Adam, and got him thinking about Kurt too. Next we have to get them to interact.” Dani said.

“How are we going to set up Stage Two though? We don’t know anyone who is a mutual friend of theirs, besides you.” Elliott said.

“And I can’t move, I have a lease.” Dani said, disappointed. “Let’s find someone who would like dessert and get Adam and Kurt to deliver to them? We can time it for the same time.” She suggested. “My friend Alison just moved and she could use some housewarming dessert!”

“That could work. We need someone else to phone in the order though so they don’t expect something. Maybe-“

Elliott cut Dani off. “No need, I got one of those voice changing boxes and it works pretty well. We can just use that.”

“Sweet!” Dani said. “Let’s regroup in a few days, if we do this too fast they might suspect something, we want this to look like happenchance.”

“You’re the expert.” Elliott said.

“And don’t you forget it.” Dani said grinning. “See you in a few days El!” Dani said as she hugged him goodbye and left his apartment.

When she was walking home she got a call from Adam asking when she would like to receive the cake and she got an idea.


	4. Stage 1.5

Several days later Dani had worked out the kinks in her plan and called Elliott up. “El! Is your house free Saturday?” She asked excitedly.

“What? It is later, good God, I am trying to sleep.” Elliott groaned and looked at the clock. “It’s 6:30 AM Dani.”

“Love doesn’t wait for the clock!” Dani exclaimed. “I need your apartment around 7PM, and Kurt’s coming over.”

“What why?” Elliott asked.

“I’m going to have Adam deliver a cheesecake to us there, it’s the perfect plan to make them interact a little.” Dani explained.

“Won’t that just make them hate each other more?”

“Not if we do this right. Ok, I’ll be over around 6:30PM.” Dani hung up and Elliott rolled over, trying to fall back asleep.

Dani was always on time, so the minute that 6:30 rolled around on the clock Elliott was ready for guests. Dani let herself in and after hugging him she went straight into her plan.

“Okay, so Kurt will be here in 15 minutes and then in 30 minutes Adam is going to arrive to drop of the cake. I’ll get the door, Kurt and Adam aren’t far enough into our plan to interact person-to-person yet. Then we will make Kurt eat Adam’s food after Adam leaves. It’s the perfect plan.”

“How many rom-coms have you watched in the past week Dani?”

“None of your business. Now let’s get something to drink, I brought this bottle of wine, figured it would maybe loosen Kurt up so he’d forgive us for making him be in Adam’s presence.” 

“You are a horrible person.” Elliott sighed, but got out the win glasses. He didn’t want to be on Kurt’s bad side.

As Dani was pouring the wine someone knocked on the door and Elliott went to open it, ushering Kurt through. 

“Hi Elliott!” Kurt said. “It’s so nice to get to see you guys after a hard day at work. You wouldn’t believe how busy I am now!” he walked over to Dani and took one of the glasses from her. “What’s the plan this evening? I’m afraid my voice is too shot to sing.”

“That sucks! I wanted to try out a new number but oh well.” Dani said, confusing Elliott who didn’t remember her mention anything about a new song.

“There’s a cake coming and we figured you would like to have some.” Elliott said, feeling horrible about their plan when Kurt lit up in excitement.

“Awesome! Now that I cook for people for a job when I get home the last thing I want to do is cook.” Kurt said. He sat down on Elliott’s couch, wrapping an arm around Dani when she sat next to him.

“That’s why we thought this would be a good idea, it’s nice to rewind after a day of work.” Dani said, sipping her wine.

Knock Knock

“I’ll get it!” Elliott said, getting up to open the door. “Hey Adam!”

Dani watched Kurt and saw him glare at the door. He whispered, “Did you invite that tool?”

“He’s just dropping off the cake. Calm down.” Dani said.

“Come in for a second.” Elliott said, ushering Adam through the door.

“Hey Dan-“Adam started to say until he saw Kurt. “And how are you Kurt?” He asked in mock concern. Elliott took the cake from Adam lest something happen to it during whatever was going on between them.

“I couldn’t be better, until I realized my friends had been fraternizing with the enemy.” Kurt glared.

“I’m here to drop off the cake, nothing more.” Adam said.

“Sure. You should probably head back to your disaster of a bakery though, I am sure that you have some rats you have to get back to running out.” Kurt said disdainfully.

“I’ll be sure to let the exterminators know that you want to schedule an appointment.” Adam said, mirroring Kurt’s tone. “I best be back though, the customers bought practically everything, time to start restocking pastries.” He let himself out, Kurt glaring a hole through the door he went through.

“That went well…” Elliott said, trying to distract Kurt from whatever he was fuming about.

“Did you plan this Dani?” Kurt accused.

“What? He owed me a cheesecake! I didn’t want to ask you to make one and bring it.” Dani said. “Come on, even if you hate the guy, he is a good cook. Let’s eat.”

“I’m on a diet.” Kurt said.

“Kurt, you ate chocolate ice cream for lunch yesterday, eat some damn cheesecake.”

“Fine. But I refuse to enjoy it.” Kurt grumbled.

“Whatever you say, baby.” Dani said, handing him a slice.


End file.
